Love Letters | Colin Spencer

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Be Loved! | Cozy up with our story blanket of letters from notable gay and bi men. 100% Cotton | One-sided print | Machine wash in cold water using a mild detergent and gentle cycle only. Do not bleach or tumble dry.

Colin Spencer to John Tasker

18:vi:57

My Dear John,
          
I suppose it is difficult for you as it is for me to write this letter, what to say and how much to say, the adroit inference that is self-consciously planned. It is all vastly complicated and I can't pretend to understand a quarter of it. One has, of course, a few clues. (1) I miss you. That is only natural, I suppose, but worse, I feel miserable without you and regret the times I was unkind and certain. That again is only human. (2) I keep on seeing you everywhere I go in Brighton, your head or hands or body appear suddenly, flash forward and then I hear your voice. I am full of ghosts. And then there is (3) it is not enough to remember, but my mind insists upon recreating moments we should have experienced and wondering if life is going to allow us to. Like midnight bathing . . .
          
I bathed naked in a warm and darkened sea in the early hours of this morning and this afternoon bathed in the same sea, naked again. I'm brown all over. . . .
          
I am too dazed and quite unable to make plans. I hope we shall be able to see each other again soon.
                              
C.